The Johannes Winters Party: Repeated
by Ancisace
Summary: A complete rewrite of an earlier fic which makes much more sense and is (IMO) a lot funnier. PLEASE REVIEW IT! I worked so hard!


This is a complete rewrite of my Grandia fanfic "The Johannes Winters Party". I have removed the semi-script format and made improvements. I know it is rather PWP, but this was such fun to write I do not care :)  
  
Standard warning #438543: All characters are used without the permission of their original owners. The name Johannes Winters bears no relation to the adult products vendor Ann Summers, and should not be implied.  
  
If you really feel the need to sue me: good luck. I'm not really a person. I'm actually a monkey, chained to a computer until I randomly type out the complete works of Shakespeare. Monkeys do not have money  
  
The Johannes Winters Party  
  
Milda checked herself in the mirror one more time. She knew this was meant to be something for the girls only, but Momma raised Milda to look her best, even in the middle of a battle. It was a Laine village thing.  
  
Milda was well satisfied with what she saw. Her muscles formed pleasing mounds in places most men didn't have, and the special brass chains she wore instead of the iron ones she normally wore glittered in the candlelight. She knew Darlin appreciated it. He'd even said so, and she only had to ask him three times to get him to look away from those damn books.  
  
Something had to be done. Recently, Darlin had simply ceased to provide the good stuff in the bedroom. All he ever did was study, eat and sleep. She had thought he was cheating on her, but the gals in town knew better than to touch her lovemuffin if they wanted to be able to eat solid food ever again.  
  
This party might work. If she couldn't find the right costume, then at least she could buy a personal aide or two.  
  
"After all," she muttered to herself, "if anyone can recommend a good dong, it'll be one of those gals..."  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
Feena sneaked up on her target with her weapon held ready. Her victim remained unaware of her presence, completely absorbed in his task. Sticking to the shadows, she approached in complete silence, not even breathing as she closed in on his unprotected back. She tensed herself, and made ready. When she got within feet of her target, she dived forward and yelled a war cry. Her victim's head sprang up, startled. It was all the opening that she needed. Laughing cruelly, she pulled his shirt aside and plunged her weapon deep inside. He screamed, sounding almost feminine. The ice cube had done its work well.  
  
Justin gasped, fished hurriedly and withdrew the cold object, which he dropped on the floor. Feena chuckled and threw her arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly. Now recovered, Justin couldn't help but chuckle himself.  
  
"Even demons are less scary than you are, Feena"  
  
Feena nibbled his ear lobe and tickled him under his arm. Justin giggled and tried to pull away, but Feena resisted.  
  
"Maybe, but demons wouldn't kiss you like this..."  
  
With that, she kissed him on the cheek. Justin turned around and turned it into a kiss on the lips. Things were just getting a little heavy when Feena suddenly broke off and held him at arms length.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
Justin shrugged slightly, looking rather bewildered.  
  
"I don't care. Um, I think it's about eight o'clock"  
  
Feena raised a hand to her mouth, looking appalled.  
  
"Oh no, I'm going to be late for the party! It starts in an hour!"  
  
Justin looked concerned.  
  
"That Johannes Winters thing? you've been looking forward to that for weeks"  
  
Feena gave him another peck on the cheek.  
  
"I'm so lucky to have someone like you, Justin. Nobody else I know is happy to have is girlfriend go to one of those parties."  
  
Justin responded in kind.  
  
"I trust you, Feena. You go get changed and I'll get you a ride. I'm sure Rapp will lend you his cart!"  
  
Feena flashed another one of those smiled that gave him shivers that a volcano couldn't budge and ran upstairs.  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
In the unlikely event that they could forget it, the eviction notice was pinned to the bathroom door to serve as a friendly reminder. Mio had made sure of that. They had been given six weeks notice to leave the building and find alternative accomodation, and that was five weeks ago. Despite her best efforts, Mio had been unable to persuade the other girls to modify their behaviour. The landlords wouldn't let them stay until they did.  
  
Mio washed her hands and sighed. Her reflection looked back at her with tired eyes as she stared into the mirror. Things were desperate. Nana and Saki were spending more than they were earning, and she earned less than everyone. Although they denied everything, Mio was certain that they hadn't played fair at the promotion board interviews. There were many rumours flying around about how those two had managed to get promoted from sergeant straight to captain, and Mio was prepared to believe virtually all of it. Failing to be promoted at all for the fourth year in a row was the icing on the cake.  
  
The front door was opened just as Mio returned to the room. Nana and Saki had arrived, and Saki was carrying a large, conspicuously plain brown cardboard box. Any hopes that the either of them were beginning to take the situation seriously were very quickly dashed.  
  
"We just got back from Harman's Leather. Just wait to you see what Nana bought. It really does suit her. I bet you wish you could fill a "C" cup, Mio" sneered Saki.  
  
She ripped off the top of the box and held up a studded leather garment that was heavy on studs but light on actual garment. Mio glared at the others and looked into the box. Similar items lay within, along with a receipt. Nana noticed the slip of paper too late and made a grab for it, but Mio was too fast for her. She snatched it up and tried to read it. Saki tried to take it from her, but Mio ducked under her arms and Saki overbalanced. She landed heavily upon the table and lay there, winded. Nana tried to take advantage of the distraction, but Mio held her at bay long enough to get a good luck at the bottom line and what she saw caused her face to turn ashen. Her mouth hung open as she stared at the numbers. It was grim reading. She sagged, but managed to flop onto a nearby stool. Nana and Saki exchanged glances, unfamiliar expressions of concern clearly visible. Shouting was pretty much all Mio did these days, and they were used to it. Shock was a much rarer species. Her mouth was opening and closing as though she was trying to speak, but no sound was forthcoming.  
  
"Mio? You aren't going fruit-loop on us, are you?" asked Nana.  
  
Mio took a deep breath, let out a ragged sigh and straightened up in the chair. There was a nasty gleam in her eye that made Nana and Saki take a step backwards.  
  
"You two are going to go straight over to Harman's Leather, and you are going to take back every last item in that box. On the way back, you are going to get that little creep of an overgrown rabbit to give you the Johannes Winters stuff for the party tonight. You will do this, or I will kill you without a moments hesitation or regret. Do you understand?"  
  
Suitably cowed, Nana and Saki nodded. Mio walked into the bathroom again and they heard the lock snap into place. Nana glared at the closed door and made obscene gestures.  
  
"Who does that little bitch think she IS? We happen to be the ranking officers around here! We should make her go!" she cried.  
  
Saki stuffed clothing back into the box and rummaged in a drawer until she found some tape to fasten the lid securely. She glanced at the door, and beckoned for Nana to come closer. When she felt Nana was sufficiently close, she leaned over and whispered into her ear.  
  
"You know as well as I do what she's doing in that bathroom. Do you want to mess with her when she's been on the hard stuff all afternoon? I know I don't!"  
  
Nana made a knowing face and followed it with a sneer.  
  
"For once, you're right. She really thinks that we don't know about her little problem..."  
  
"I'm always right. Now c'mon, help me with this box."  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
Rapp ran a hunting shack out in the forest in the middle of nowhere. Normally, it was a good two days journey to get to his camp, but it was not currently hunting season and so Rapp was living in an apartment and cultivating the image of a grizzled outdoorsmen. Justin hadn't the heart to tell him that his moustache and ponytail made him look more like a stalker than a hunter. Justin knocked on his door and waited. Rapp shouted through the door.  
  
"Yeah? Whaddayawant?"  
  
"It's only Justin..."  
  
"Never mind peeping through the keyhole, who the hell is it?"  
  
Justin sighed.  
  
"This is Justin *Menelau*. Are you ready? The party is in forty-five minutes and I promised Feena I'd get you to lend her the cart"  
  
Justin heard Rapp swear, and what sounded suspiciously like a feminine giggle. The door opened slightly, and Rapp peered out through the gap, his expression rimed with doubt.  
  
"Do we have to leave now, Juss? When you live in a hut in the middle of nowhere for eight months a year, you get grateful for any company you can get, you get me?" said Rapp, with a wink.  
  
Justin sighed.  
  
"YES! Let's go, Rapp! You want to see what happens at a Johannes Winters party, well now is your chance! C'mon already."  
  
Before Rapp could reply, a female voice called out.  
  
"Rapp? Hurry up! This bathwater is going cold!"  
  
Justin blinked.  
  
"Gee, that sounded just like mom..."  
  
Rapp slammed the door shut and yelled "I'll be right out!"  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
"I'm-a sorry, Saki. I no can give-a you the package. Mio, she never a-paya the bill-a."  
  
Nana glared down at the little Mogay and scowled.  
  
"Listen Guido. We need that package NOW so hand it over, carrot breath!"  
  
Guido calmly returned her stare. He was a Mogay merchant, and the fact he resembled a rabbit and came up to the knees of most of his customers did not mean he couldn't be a tough, ruthless businessmen when he felt the need to be.  
  
"You break-a my heart. Now scram, you uglying up-a my tent!"  
  
Nana's hand went to her sword hilt. Guido's eyes narrowed, and he rang a small bell that hung around his neck. Nana and Saki heard someone come into the tent behind them.  
  
"Master Guido, I have yet to see any sign of the dragon you say is coming to attack you. Are you certain there is indeed such a thing?"  
  
Guido flapped a hand.  
  
"It's-a coming. Its-a gonna be here any minute, capisce?"  
  
"Very well, Master Guido. How can I be of assistance?"  
  
"If eithah of these-a harpies so much as-a looks atta me the wrong way, I want for you to breaka their faces!"  
  
Saki covered Nana's sword hand with her own. She smiled at Guido, and bent over so that she was looking him in the eye and quite coincidentally showing a lot of cleavage.  
  
"Now, there's no need for this. Surely there's some way we can persuade you to give us the package?"  
  
Guido grinned like a watermelon.  
  
"Well, now thatta you mention it..."  
  
He leaned a little closer and whispered words into Saki's ear. Her smile vanished like mist in the morning sun.  
  
"You dirty little creep! That's disgusting!"  
  
Guido fold his arms and grinned even wider.  
  
"You do want-a the package, don't you?"  
  
"Why? What did that little furball say?" asked Nana, who had not heard what was said. Saki straightened up and whispered the words into her ear. Nana did not react in the way that Saki was expecting. Instead, she looked relieved. She took her hand away from her sword and adjusted her tights.  
  
"Is that all? We'll do it!"  
  
Saki whipped around like a striking snake.  
  
"WHAT!? THIS LITTLE PERVERT WANTS US TO-"  
  
"Since when did you get so moral? We did worse at our promotion board..."  
  
That made Saki hesitate. The more she thought about it, the less abhorrent the idea became. It was for a worthy cause, they really HAD done worse at the promotion board interviews and although the presence of Guido put a dampener on the whole thing she knew that he wouldn't tell anyone. If word got out about this...  
  
Saki smiled at Guido and it wasn't a particularly pleasant. Guido's ancestors were descended from rabbits, and deeply enmeshed into his racial unconscious was the memory of smiles of like these. For the briefest of moments he felt an unaccountable urge to dive headfirst into the nearest hole and hide. Nana noticed the smile too. Making sure that Guido could not see, she mouthed four words to her friend:  
  
What are you thinking?  
  
Saki looked at Guido, and covered her mouth with her hand so that he couldn't see her response.  
  
Blackmail  
  
Both girls giggled. Once more, Guido felt the sudden inexplicable urge to hide. Nana put her hands behind her back and rocked back and forth on her tiptoes. She smiled, and this one was much friendlier.  
  
"So how do you want us, handsome?"  
  
Guido clapped his hands.  
  
"Yo, Knight-a Dight! I think-a maybe I heard a dragon. You take-a another dragon patrol, be back-a in fifteen. Oh, make sure you ring-a your bell before you come inside, capisce?"  
  
Gadwin clanged to attention and saluted.  
  
"A fine quest. I, Gadwin, Knight of Dight shall not let you down."  
  
When he left, Guido returned his attention to the two ladies.  
  
"Go grab-a the costumes outta the special bag and tell-a me when you changed, yes?"  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXO  
  
Feena came outside the moment she heard the sound of hooves. She was wearing a yellow miniskirt with matching blouse and shoes. Justin's mouth went dry, and he had to swallow before he could speak.  
  
"Justin? where is the cart? and where is the other horse?"  
  
Justin dismounted the horse badly, and landed heavily on his backside. He jumped up and grabbed the reins before the animal could move away.  
  
"I'm sorry Feena, Rapp couldn't send the cart because the other horse is sick. I hope you can get there with just this one..."  
  
Feena smiled.  
  
"Of course I can. It's been a long time since I had a good ride out in the country."  
  
If Justin noticed the double meaning, he didn't show it. He gripped the reins while Feena climbed into the saddle. The horse snorted and absentmindedly bit Justin's hand.  
  
"Ouch! Stupid horse! Have fun Feena. Be careful..."  
  
"I will, Justin. Don't be such an old lady. Now be a good boy, and maybe I'll bring you back something nice"  
  
"Gee, now who's being an old lady"  
  
Feena turned the horse and galloped off down the road. She was an excellent rider and the horse seemed to like her. Justin hoped that Rapp was ready, because they were going to have to move very quickly to get there ahead of Feena. Justin stuck two fingers into his mouth and whistled. Rapp trotted out from his hiding place and helped Justin mount up behind him. The horse turned and galloped off down a narrow path into the forest. Justin clung on to Rapp for dear life as the animal picked up speed. When he was young he always dreamed of seeing the world from the back of a horse, but when he got older he realised that horses were not the noble creatures he had always imagined. In fact, they were smelly, vindictive little beasts that hated him on sight. He squeezed tightly with his knees and tried to think happy thoughts as tree branches whipped him in the face and his bladder tried to make a forced entry into his stomach. At least Rapp seemed to be enjoying the ride.  
  
"Still with me, Juss?"  
  
"Yu-yu-yu"  
  
"Attaboy. We should get there fifteen minutes ahead of Feena. With a bit of luck we can find a ladder and watch through the window..."  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
Mio downed another whisky and tried to clear her head a little bit. There was something important she had to do. Very important. If only she could remember what it was. She fumbled with the cork and managed to push the cork back into the bottle, which she hid carefully under the loose floorboard. The doorknob presented a few difficulties, but eventually she managed to get the door opened. Mio stared dumbly at the living room, trying to bully her so called memory into action. Through the alcoholic haze, the thought arose that maybe she should start setting up for the party before any of the guests arrived. She staggered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She grabbed a few bottles of wine and kicked the door closed. With painstaking care, she placed them on the coffee table. After another minute spent trying to think, Mio decided to fetch some glasses too. Once more she made the perilous journey across the room. The glasses were carefully removed from the hiding place under the sink and placed upon the worktop. This effort was exhausting; Mio was growing strangely sleepy. She sat on the floor with her back to the waste disposal. Five minutes. That's all she needed. Within seconds she was fast asleep and snoring gently.  
  
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo  
  
"Ooooh Guido, you are so big" gasped Nana, wide eyed with wonder.  
  
"Yeah, isn't he the greatest?" purred Saki.  
  
The grin Guido was wearing was threatening to cause the top of his head to fall off in the event of it getting any bigger. He opened his mouth and Saki popped in a grape. As he chewed, she ruffled the soft fur on the top of his head. Nana busied herself with the fan she was waving. Saki looked up at her and scowled slightly.  
  
"Hey Nana! Do you want to take it easy with that fan? I'm freezing my butt off in this harem girl costume and you stand there with that overgrown fly swatter and blow up a howlnado. You want to lay off before I smack you?"  
  
Guido clapped his hands together. Nana stopped waving and curtised, though not before shooting Saki a stare full of daggers.  
  
"How else may I serve you?"  
  
Guido said nothing. He appeared to be waiting for something. Nani couldn't disguise the momentary flash of contempt on her face, but nonetheless she smiled and curtsied again.  
  
"My apologies. How else may I serve you, o great and powerful one?"  
  
"Thats-a better. Oh, just keepa the happy thoughts comin my way."  
  
"As you wish, mightiness..."  
  
Saki stopped stroking and stood up.  
  
"Alright Guido, times up! Where's our stuff?"  
  
Guido sighed heavily and stood up.  
  
"It's out back. Tell Mio I want-a thirty thousand gold by tomorrow or there's gonna be trouble"  
  
Saki stared at the little Mogay, and suddenly Guido felt that despite the fact both girls were wearing skimpy harem girl costumes, he was the one who was almost naked. He found himself taking a step backwards. He risked taking his eyes off Saki to see if Nana was sneaking up on him with a blunt instrument, but this was not the case. She was merely standing there like an unexploded bomb with folded arms and an indecipherable expression upon her face that was somehow more worrying.  
  
"I-is there a problem, ladies?"  
  
"No, no problem at all." said Saki.   
  
Guido was not reassured. He took another step backwards, and bumped his tail against the wall.There was nowhere to run. Without actually appearing to move, Nana and Saki had put themselves in the way of the door, cutting off his only escape route. Guido reached up to where the bell normally hung around his neck, and his nervousness upgraded itself to bowel loosening terror. His nerve broke, and he made a dash for the exit. He jumped onto the counter and tried to jump over the heads of the the two women. Nana yelled wordless surprise, but Saki had been half expecting this and managed to grab the foot of the unfortunate Mogay. He kicked and struggled, but Saki held on and Guido eventually realised that he was not going to escape so easily. In the end he gave up, and swung gently to and fro as Saki dangled him by his ankle.  
  
Nana patted her companion on the back and sniggered.  
  
"Well, looks like you got yourself a rabbit's paw, Saki. Isn't that lucky?"  
  
"Not for the rabbit..."  
  
Guido looked up helplessly.  
  
"A joke is a joke-a. You gonna put me down now?"  
  
Saki switched hands and turned him the right way up.  
  
"Maybe. We have to talk a little...business first."  
  
Guido sighed. He knew a shakedown when one grabbed him by the foot and shook him.  
  
"Alright-a", he muttered in resigned tones, "how much is this gonna cost me?"  
  
Saki smiled.  
  
"I don't know. How much do you think the damage to your reputation when we tell all your customers that their friendly neighborhood travelling merchant has a mini-sultan fetish and likes to be flattered about his height is worth? To the nearest hundred..."  
  
Guido looked shocked.  
  
"You would-a never dare-a to tell anyone about that, you..."  
  
His voice trailed off as his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. He allowed himself another sigh.  
  
"You would-a, wouldn't you? I'll get-a my wallet."  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
The appartment that Nana and Saki and Mio shared was on the ground floor of a four storey block that used to be part of the local forces barracks. Rapp pressed his face against the glass and shielded his eyes. Night had fallen, but the lights within the room had not been lit. The flat appeared to be empty. Once satisfied the coast was clear, Rapp carefully tugged the window open and clambered inside. Justin made a grab to try and stop him, but he was too late. Rapp disappeared into the deeper darkness of room beyond. He held his breath for a few tense moments. Rapp leaned out of the window and waved for him to follow. Justin checked the coast was clear one more time and eased himself into the room.  
  
Justin walked as quickly and quietly as he could and grabbed him by the arm. Rapp startled, and span around.  
  
"Dammit Juss! You almost gave me a heart attack" he said.  
  
Justin had no sympathy. He squeezed harder.  
  
"Rapp, we were meant to watch through the window. What the heck are you doing?" whispered Justin, carefully watching the doors for any sign of the inhabitants. Rapp shook free of Justin's grip and bounced across the room. He put his hand upon a doorknob and gestured extravagantly.  
  
"Relax!" He pushed the door open.  
  
Justin looked inside and saw Mio was there. Her glasses were sitting on her face at a crooked angle, and she was laying on the floor in a boneless heap. For a second he was afraid she was hurt, but then he caught the smell of strong liquor.  
  
"She's drunk again? But the party starts in ten minutes!"  
  
Rapp sniggered and closed the door.  
  
"Everydays a party when you're a drunk. C'mon, lets take a look around."  
  
With that, Rapp opened a drawer and began to rummage around in it's contents. Justin grabbed his arm again, but Rapp carried on rummaging with the other. He did not look at Justin when he next spoke.  
  
"Justin, if you touch my arm again I am going to hit you right in the mush. You go and wait outside if you want, but I'm gonna have a look around first.  
  
Justin let go of Rapp's arm and turned towards the window. He was just about to follow Rapp's suggestion and go back the way he came when there was a loud thump. This was repeated a couple of times. Justin turned to face the front door. Rapp paused in mid-rummage. There was another loud thump, and they heard a female voice shout at the door.  
  
"MIO! MIO! OPEN THE DOOR! THIS IS HEAVY STUFF!"  
  
Instinctively, both men piled into the nearest room, and leaned against the door. They heard Nana swear, and then a key turned in the door. shafts of light speared the darkness to reveal they had hidden inside a cupboard built into the wall. There was no way out.  
  
Someone snarled with frustration and they listened to the sounds coming from the apartment. There were many of these. There was the sound of the the door being unlocked, a strange scraping sound and then a loud thump.  
  
"There you are!"  
  
Nana's voice made both men jump. For moment, they thought that they had been discovered, but the door stayed closed and Nana continued to speak.  
  
"Wake up, stupid! The party is going to start soon. Go get a shower or something, you smell like you fell into a barrel!"  
  
Mio groaned loudly.  
  
"Oooooooh. Did yuh get the...shtuff from Guido? H-How much did it cosht? Pleesh tell me you didn't pay more than one thoushand gold..."  
  
Saki spoke next. Her voice was calm, but flat and dead.  
  
"Whaddya mean, 'one thousand gold'!? The thieving little maggot tried to charge us thirty thousand!"  
  
The words "thirty thousand" must have had a similar effect to that of taking a cold shower in black coffee, because Mio's voice became lucid, controlled and free from slurring.  
  
"Even if we sold absolutely everything tonight, we still couldn't raise that much money!" she wailed, "What are we going to do? We're going to be living on the street! I am NOT going to the soup kitchen with you guys!"  
  
Nana laughed.  
  
"Mio, you talk such complete and utter nonsense when you've been drinking. That's what he tried to charge us. We managed to persuade us to give us this stuff on a sale/return basis. So long as nobody uses it, we can return anything that we don't sell and only pay for the stuff that we sell. Sometimes, my brilliance even amazes me!"  
  
"Your brilliance? I thought of it!" said Saki, sounding offended. There was a second of silence.  
  
"You gave me the finger? That is so immature. Geez, your such a big kid. No wonder you aren't getting any. Ow!"  
  
"Sorry, my foot slipped." said Nana, sounding anything but. "Anyway, everyone will be here soon. Saki, you help me carry the second box into the apartment and Mio, go brush your teeth or something. I can't tell which is worse: Your breath or Saki's cologne. Owwww!"  
  
"Sorry. So did mine."  
  
Rapp whispered curses, complaining about going to all the effort and then not being able to see what was going to happen. That was when Justin realised that one of the slats was missing. Provided that neither man minded kneeling on what appeared to be dirty laundry, they could watch in reasonable safety.  
  
There was a knock at the door. It was opened to reveal Milda, Sue, Liete and Feena. Each one was holding a bottle of wine. Saki led them into the sitting room, while Nana practically dragged Milda outside so that she could carry the second box. This was placed upon the table. From their hiding place, they had an unrivalled view of the proceedings. The girls played catch-up while Nana, Saki and Mio made last minute preparations, tossed food onto plates and sundry other things they really should have done hours ago. Soon all was prepared and Nana, Saki and Mio stood before their guests, the latter supported between the former.  
  
The party was about to begin.  
  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE! THE SECOND HALF WILL BE POSTED WHENEVER I CAN BE BOTHERED!  
  
Justin's surname was blatantly lifted from the most excellent work of Otakugirl. Go check it out. 


End file.
